


Universe of Sorrow

by ImaginaRose



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 05:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginaRose/pseuds/ImaginaRose
Summary: The war of young Sith Lord Asmenys with her old master is getting to its end, as she heads for the final duel. But instead of hoping for the closing end to the fight, she's torn between her righteous anger and unwanted love.***Please, don't take this sorry attempt at fanfiction seriously.





	Universe of Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> The war of young Sith Lord Asmenys with her old master is getting to its end, as she heads for the final duel. But instead of hoping for the closing end to the fight, she's torn between her righteous anger and unwanted love.

Droid parts fell to the ground. She turned around. His eyes reflected fear, animalistic terror. She hated to see him that way, even in light of his betrayal.  
He was shaking. Red light made the fear seem even deeper. He knew her – as he said. He knew her. He knew his life was going to end soon.  
“What went wrong?” She was sure he was talking more to himself than to her. “I calculated precisely. You should be dead.” He was angry. But she knew the anger went only to himself. He always wanted to do everything the best way. Do his best. He always expected top performance, the best you could do and beyond. Failure was unthinkable – especially his own.  
“It was tough fight.” she said, searching for even shadow of regret in him. Trying to find, if the man she loved still lives. Or even was ever there. “There is always some chance of failure.”  
“That’s not much of relief.” he murmured and looked her in the eyes. Their sights met. “I know what I did is unforgivable. I conspired with your worst enemy.” His eyes fixed on her face, trying to memorize every line of it, every millimeter of her beauty. He wanted it to be his last memory. His last sight. “I accept my fate.”  
She closed her eyes. Breathed in heavily.  
He turned away, waiting for final strike. She looked at him, rage glowing in her eyes. She reached out. Wave of Force grasped him and thrown him against the wall. Pain stroke him. He fell to the ground. Suddenly, he lifted up, unable to breathe.  
Finally, after several moments of pain, that seemed like eternity, comforting darkness came and sucked him out of her vengeful grasp.  
Last thing he saw was the blood red hatred in her eyes. Gone was the beautiful green, gone was her smile.  
All because of him.  
***  
Their eyes met. The fear, the pain, the regret in his eyes.  
Her hand was shaking. She let go. His body collapsed to the ground. Something inside her was fighting her. She stepped back, almost confused.  
“No… no!” she shouted into the silence.  
She sat down on one of the crates, tears rolling down her cheeks. She held her own hand, repeating Sith code. It didn’t help. Whatever stopped her was stronger than her rage and feeling of betrayal. She wasn’t able to stand, to do anything. She felt numb. Empty.  
She breathed in. She was shaking.  
She couldn’t kill him. Something inside her was stopping her. His voice echoed in her head.  
“We might not be able to do the right thing, if the other’s life would be at stake.”  
“I was wrong.” she whispered. Her voice was bubbly. She couldn’t speak loudly. “I was so wrong.” She looked at his laying body, hardly alive. “I’m so sorry.”  
She sighted and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Memories flooded her. Her heart was racing, fighting with her mind.  
Like a distant echo, her own voice came. Like that reflection on Tatooine. But this time, it was one of light. One of compassion. One of love. When she closed her eyes, she could almost see them fighting in front of her. No. Inside of her.  
Her mind reminded her of what he just did. How long it had to take to prepare. That whatever she felt to him, he most likely never really felt same way. How could he do something like this, if he did?  
Her heart shouted that it was real. That he did what he had to do. That she should forgive him. Because it didn’t really matter, if he loved her. She loved him and that was enough.  
She didn’t care. She heard herself speak. No – not speak. Sing. Melody came from her memory. Song from better time. And she gave in. She let the words escape her lips. Slowly they curled into smile, as her heart finally won over her mind – and she didn’t care. For few minutes, she allowed herself to not care.  
***  
Moment of weakness. A hesitation.  
How long it was, since she last hesitated to kill? How long it was, since her conscience called her to responsibility?  
Too long, it seemed.  
She was finally back on the Fury. Their ship entered hyperspace, leaving Corellia behind. She hardly could recall anything, that happened since the got there. She knew she won – big deal. She knew she was ruthless, careless. She knew she didn’t care about anybody’s life – especially not her own. Yet she managed to win anyway.  
Funny, how her life worked. Almost like the more she wanted to live, the closer she got to dying. And more she wanted to end it, the life’s grasp got tighter.  
End it – cold shiver went down her spine, as she realized, what she thought. Did she really want to die? Over a man? Was she really this stupid?  
She leaned back into captain’s chair. His chair – and his scent was left on it. Like there was nothing left in her life that he didn’t manage to touch. To corrupt.  
She almost started to laugh. Corrupt. She was corrupted - by darkness, by her own cruelty. She was monster by every measure used by intelligent beings. She’s done terrible things, and simple murder was one of lowest things on the list. She was basically personal assassin to men much more powerful than she could ever be – first to Baras, now the Emperor. Their beast on long leash. So long she kept forgetting it existed. She felt so little – so insignificant.  
In the end, she would always just end as pawn is somebody else’s game. Just a figure in a game of chess. She might be the Queen, but she too could be sacrificed, to protect the King. By the whim of the player.  
Steps. She twitched. She didn’t need to look. It was him. He walked slower, and there was something strange in his mind. Regret. Sadness. Pain. Fear.  
Put in there by her.  
“What do you want here?” she barked. She hated the sound of her own voice. So angry, sending him away, even if she didn’t want to. She wanted him there, next to her. She wanted him to hold her, to assure her she won’t fail.  
“I thought… that we probably should talk about what happened.” he said.  
“You betrayed me. Tried to kill me. I had weak moment and let you live. What more is there to talk about?”  
“Much more…” Quinn was right behind her. She stood up and turned to him. It was still uncomfortable to turn her back at him. Their eyes met for first time since transponder station. But neither of them watched closely enough to see the drying trails on each other’s cheeks, or the red stains in their eyes.  
“I never wanted to do it.” he said finally.  
“If you didn’t want to, you wouldn’t do it.” she stated, like it was obvious. All the warmth disappeared from her eyes.  
“Are you saying you’ve never done anything that you didn’t want to keep your head? That you’ve never done anything you regretted later?”  
He wasn’t trying to accuse her of anything. He just asked. But he was angry. He hated himself. He was angry at himself, for the failure. He failed Baras. But that wasn’t, what scared him. He failed himself. And he failed her.  
If nothing, he hardly ever lied about his thoughts. He was basically an open book – even to her. Maybe that was why she never expected him to turn against her.  
Jaesa? Probably would be too scared to do so, but with the power she had? It would be enough for her to just point a finger and call her traitor and nobody would even look into it twice.  
Vette? Who knew how many people she backstabbed in the past? She didn’t really know almost anything about her – not in any details. And she saw more than once that that little, sorry-looking creature, had way more in her than expected.  
Pierce? Loyal to no one – especially not to her, after she turned his advances down so harshly.  
Broonmark? She never trusted that animal to begin with.  
But Quinn? She would never suspect him.  
And she knew he was right. She’s done a lot of things she regretted – most of them while serving Baras. But one stood out. Words of another man came from mist of her memory. From a place, where she put all her weak moments.  
“So, I’ve been outplayed. Either you kill me, or I’ll be forced to destroy my own plan.”  
How could she be so blind? How could she have missed that? Cold went down her spine. This was never about killing her – it was about destroying her.  
“We need to throw him off balance.”  
She fell for the exact same traps she helped to set up so many times. After she hit so deep, how could he let the revenge be made by someone like Quinn – lowly servant? Not much more than a slave, in Baras’s eyes. All he needed was to weaken her – throw her off balance. Betrayal is something that goes deeper than any blade ever could. Hurts more than most powerful of lightning.  
And she didn’t want to let him win.  
She closed her eyes. She felt tear roll down her face. She didn’t care.  
“I’m sorry.” she whispered, reaching with her hand, touching his face. “I should have understood. It’s the same trap once again. And I fell for it.” He touched her face too. “There’s no need to ask for forgiveness. There’s nothing to forgive.”  
She stepped closer, and looked him in the eyes. He finally noticed, how light reflected on the still wet trails of tears.  
“I should have understood.” she repeated. “I’m sorry.”  
They pulled closer together. Their lips touched. As they separated, she smiled.  
“I love you.” she whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked my attempt at writing. I hope it's not too bad. Feel free to point out any mistakes I've made - english is not my first language and I still have a lot to work on.


End file.
